Love

We are all products of our environments, copy of our upbringing, images of our parents, and try to be director of our own lives, in search of , respect, validation, and love.
When we are young and pliable, able to be taught, we can be given help in how to attain life- skills by loving informed parents. If we don't have that, we are starting out with a huge disadvantage in life. People can not teach what they don't know, can not correct what they can't understand and admit, wont take a chance to go against what is established as truth, when it doesn't effect them, enough.
Alas, sometimes life deals us a hard hand, one we are not familiar with, which our parents never envisioned we would have to deal with, or learn how to cope . So we enter into adulthood, hardly able to understand our own selves, but with the responsibilities, of having to live with the consequences of the actions we chose.
I have heard people say,"Life is not fair, so get over it".
With that statement comes the reality that people don't really care about you. They care that you don't inconvenience them. They don't know how to help you with your problem, so you can understand what can or can't be done. They don't even really realise how those words hurt you. You hope for understanding and solutions and you get "hate", disguised as "words of wisdom".
The truth of the matter is, while life isn't fair, to get over it, would take understanding, and something, or some actions taken, to make it right. Otherwise it stays there, for years, and years, eating your soul and stunting your emotional growth. Often, turning inward and manifesting itself in the many sicknesses we have become accustomed to, as strangely, normal.
I have heard it said, " if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger". Oh really? Stronger? How?
The reality is this, we come into our adult lives limping along on dreams, idealism's, and hopes, carrying baggage from our lack of emotionally mature homes, cruel misunderstandings of those we trust, be it leaders, friends or family, and one by one, these ideals are tested . Our rose colored glasses are traded, for sarcasms and anger and how unfair this life is. Sometimes we retreat to the safety of our family and homes, where we silently hope for wisdom, understanding and love. Licking our hurts, and hoping for compassion. Blessed is that person who has a home with wisdom and understanding, who have people that will stand up against what is wrong and say it. Who are not afraid of the backlash of ignorance brought about from lack of understanding and fears of losing personal power.
But, that will come at a price, are they willing to lay down their lives, so others will not have to suffer because of ignorance? Are they willing to stand in the gap and take the heat of angry, misguided ignorance's of those that don't want change, if it means they don't look so good. Are we willing to give up our lives, so those after us can have a better one. The goal being, so they can live in a world, community, church or home where they can feel loved, validated for their good, and gently guided when they lose their way. NO! That isn't going to happen very often.
Instead, what happens is this:
We learn to cope by agreeing with things we know are wrong and powerless to do anything about. We give up, we hide, we shut-up, we die. In so doing we join the ranks of the many who have gone before us. Just one more casualty of a human that couldn't get those, more responsible, to believe that something was wrong, wrong enough that it needed to change.
What has all this got to do with love? Everything.
Love is an outgoing concern for someone else. To love, you will need to own your own wrongs, to to be sorry for the wrong, and to do that, you will have to get educated on what is right, to admit, that your wrong did hurt someone, even if its out of ignorance, which I firmly believe is the cause of most wrongs.
Its not OK to hurt others, put them down, use them as if you have a right, and duty, to emotionally disembowel them. Its not OK to wave your hand in the air and dismiss their feelings as trivial garbage. Its not OK to shrug your shoulders as if you have no further responsibilities to help them. If you are in an office of responsibility over someone, get an education on how to do that job and quit pretending you know when you haven't got a clue. Fakey rulers lack wisdom and vision, which gains them no respect and everyone except them, knows it. Those closest to that person cant tell them, because the cost is too high.. better to just agree with them, unless you have to endure their scorn.
We need love, we know that, we want it, but we are made to feel helpless in thinking we are worthy of it, even when we live a life that is considered, by most.. to be honorable.