Doing something good

Today is Sunday and dad and Grandma Trumbo have gone to Farmington to see Martin. So Dad is doing a good deed today.

I have been going over to Kathryn Hungerford to help a little around the house, on Wednesdays. You all may or may not know she has MS. She needs a little help from time to time, and Ken has been a super husband and does 99% of all her care, so really I just wash her hair and do a little house work and stuff he can't get too.

Well this last week she asked if I could make her some adult bibs, as she is prone to dropping things when she tries to eat, a very common thing for lots of people with all sorts of health issues. So I got creative and made this one first:

Then I felt like making something fun.. so I did this one: (notice the bubble bees)

Then I got serious and remembered she wanted one she could wear when eating out, So I made this one:

Don't you all just love my model I used for displaying these bibs.. Don't tell me dad doesn't have a good sense of humor.. I did have to promise him I would make him one when he needed it some day. ha. Anyway Kathryn and Ken loved them and I am sure they will get lots of use.

MAN AT WORK

Dad is busy this morning, building a shelf for plants that will go across the back of the couch area. He has taken out the old panelling on the living room back wall. ( the garbage man will hate us this week ) . Dad and Mark came home yesterday with sheet rock and got it in the house. Dad in his type A personality mode, took out the old wall and corner shelves and old insulation, and replace it with all new stuff. Dad had me help with one piece of sheet rock and then proceeded to hang all the rest, and mud it in and tape it.
Today.. as you can see he is still in his jamies.. he is at it early.. trying to get my input on where to place the shelf that will go across the back of the wall and not interfere with the couch.. I wanted it lower, but that would not work as the area under will have tall people sitting in it.. nobody wants plants hanging in their hair when they are just trying to sit and visit, or watch TV.
Dad has his creative juices flowing and I will try and stay out of his way.. He has a special design all figured out, and it sounds like a beautiful idea to me. hip-hip-hurry for men who can build!!

What to do on your time off

Good morning all
I have heard it said.. time is your life.. well.. sometimes time is just boring.. like when you are out of your routine, and you cant muster enough brain cells, to figure out what would be the best way to spend your , "new found time".
When we are in full swing, and hurrying around like we are late, ...when we aren't, ...we always say that the things around the house, will get done, when we have some time off.
OK... we have some time off.. its the winter solstice time.. when jingle bells have been ringing in this present day, and when people light their homes with colored lights, I am thinking.. so the ..pretend -gift- man, can find their homes better,.. no one wants to go without a gift..which makes me wonder about the idea of "giving". Why is it that giving is left up to the pretend-man. humm.. anyway I digress.
So the weather outside is not frightful and in here its so delightful.. that the man of the house is sleeping with feet propped up, on our new couch. and its 8:40am.. He must be really tired, I think, after all.... he has slept at least 9 hours had an nice full breakfast, shaved, and watched the weather channel, and fox news, and played cards for about an 30 minutes..lets see he's been up for 3 1/2 hours.. so I guess, all that activity has worn the poor fella out.. sleep sleep sleep. and even the dog.. sleep sleep sleep.
All kidding aside, as we get older.. our list of chores, and wishing to do.. get longer, our energy gets used up faster, and by the time we have decided what to do to use our time wisely, we have exhausted ourselves and its time for a brain rest....
Maybe tomorrow.. ya tomorrow we will get right to it.. first thing in the morning, no waisting time.. tomorrow.... you think?

My 3 Sons

I remember when my 3 boys were just kids. What a handful, no, not because they were bad, but because they were bundles of energy, exploding into who they are today.
They did not have the latest teco gadget to keep them busy, no, they had each other and neighbor hood friends. They had sticks to pretend were hunting rifles, Larry especially love the stick guns. One day Larry came into the kitchen and asked if he could go hunting. I said sure.. thinking he was just wanting to play. After a few minutes, it dawned on me.. you don't tell Larry he can do something, unless you really mean it, not Larry... because he will do it. I believe he was about 4 and he took his little brother David on a hunting expedition out towards our neighbors FOREST, in the back field.. The field was tall with 2 1/2 foot grass, that hadn't been cut yet.. I looked out the back window to check on them and could see a little red hat bobbing along in the back field. That was Davids hat, Larry wasn't wearing any hat and his hair blended in with the dried field grass so I really couldn't see him. Larry was leading and they were on a mission to go hunting. Thankfully I was one of those mean moms that had taught her kids to come when called.. Because at that point.. I really needed them to obey me.. I couldn't get over the wire fence that stood between me and those kids. Larry especially was fast and could get away from you in a flash.
They had found a small opening in the wire fence that separated our property from the back neighbors field, and they were little and could got through it. I felt a sense of relief when I called " Larry... David ...Come Here, RIGHT NOW!!". I watched with a sense of overwhelming relief, when that little red hat stopped and turned around and started back the same way it had went. Never again did I give Larry permission to do something thinking I was playing with him. He took me very seriously. I know I would have just died if they had got over to the forest and gotten lost or hurt. That would have been a nightmare to live with.

The boys had boxes that became cars, or forts, or toy boxes to keep their sparse amount of toys in.. mostly cars, trucks, and a set of children books. They had creative imaginations, and figured out how to entertain themselves.
We didn't have a basement for them to play in, out of sight.. no.. all that went on in the house, was right there in the hallway, in the bedrooms, in the kitchen and in the living room.
Winter was kind of ruff, .. not a lot of space to run, so the couch became a launching pad, for someone trying to practise "flying". I remember Mark wanted to fly and I assured him, OH YES, if you flapped your arms fast enough, then jumped high enough from the arm of the couch.. you could learn to fly.. just like a bird. But you had to practice, practice practice... No they did not have to wear a helmet.. or knee pads.. NO, I didn't worry about them spraining anything, or braking anything.. I worried about them getting strong bones, by jumping and playing so they wouldn't brake something if they jumped off of a 2 1/2 foot item. I also didn't have a coffee table or end tables in the way, to hurt themselves on..They would have turned those items into forts anyway.
The hallway became a mountain climbers, challenge.. place your bare feet on opposite walls, and with you hands to steady you.. climb, climb, climb.. Wow, now that took strength, and I didn't care because ,hey.. I knew where they were, and they were boys.. that was just alright for them to be boys. I did it with my brothers when I was young too..So you don't have to be a guy to do it.
The hallway also had a small rope that hung from the ceiling, that was used to pull the stairs down, so we could get to the attic. That rope became the thing to jump and hit as they sailed down the hall. Wow.. what joy, what pride was yelled "LOOK MOM", when each of them got to where they could finally jump and hit it.
The bedrooms were their places to play and rest.. bedtime was at 7 pm when they were very young then 9:00 when they were older. We , me and dad, went to bed at 9 most of the time and our boys were not allowed, free access to the TV, staying up all hours of the night.. no way !!
That changed somewhat with David when he was in his later teens,because he had important church slide shows to put together.. yes we were proud of him for that... such talent and willingness to serve. But while in their young school age years.. bedtime was bedtime, and you would get your butts beat if you tried to brake that rule. I was totally worn out by the end of the day, and I needed them to be in bed.. I needed to be in bed too, and I also needed to know where they were, that they were safe, and getting the rest that was needed to be alert for the next day. I also know that people just do better when they have a routine to follow.. it helps the body to organize itself. I was a mean mom and I did it on purpose and with forethought.!! If they had told me I was a mean mom, they would have experienced the FORCE of Super MOM, first hand.
Respect was expected and given.
Dad built bunk beds for the kids. wow.. there was something in the home that they couldn't tear apart.. because it was so cheaply made.. no, these things were built to withstand elephants dancing in Toto's on them.
Their beds and bedrooms were their responsibilities.. no I did not make their beds.. yes they had to pick up after their selves. It was called, learning to have respect for yourself and to know.. that mom is not your personal unpaid slave.. she was a woman.. who had to teach her sons to have respect for himself.. and show God he had appreciation for the things he was given. My only exception for this. was.. IF you pick up your room and the floor is clear of stuff.. I would vacuum the floor on Fridays along with the rest of the house. If the room was not picked up.. then whomever left the mess.. would find the vacuum waiting by the door of the room so they could then pick up the room and vacuum it themselves. I don't remember them having to do that very often. I do not believe in the idea of, " well just close the door so you wont have to look at it" theory.. that is stupid beyond belief. Kids don't learn anything important by you ignoring their need to LEARN to be clean and neat. I was The Force.. and our home, and need, for it to be tidy would be respected.. it still is. Having been taught this one thing, gave them much praise when they would stay at others peoples homes, for overnight stays, or church functions. I remember other mothers saying how impressed they were for how my boys picked up after their selves.. music to my ears.. for sure.
It was not all work at our home.. I had imagination too. I told them a story about the Candy Factory, that has a secret door somewhere in the utility room.. that only big people could see and go to, after they all were in bed? That was fun for them.. to imagine that it actually existed.. And I was challenged in not giving the secret door location away... I am absolutely sure they knew I was playing with them.. on their imaginative level, and I am sure it was fun for them to think that it just might be true.
Yes so many events.. So many wonderful memories.. And now they are all grown and gone..but the memories, the mental images of them, are forever with me, how wonderful life is, how blessed I have been.

Bella Baby

Today is a special day.. its Bella's second birthday. It was my grandmother McGaughey's birthday as well.
Bella just loved it when dad kept saying to her ,"it was her birthday"! She danced around on her back legs and smiled , as he gushed about her and how pretty she was. She is such a ham. ha
She has been chewing on a big bone the size of NEW YORK, and I have no idea where she keeps it during the day, but it seems to get found by her, in the early morning hours and sometimes in the evenings.
We have given her little bones to chew on, and once in a while she will bury them in the soil of my potted plants. She knows what to do to save them for later,
I would never look there for her bone. But she sure does make a mess when she goes to retrieve it. ha.
One of the things she hates is for me to turn on the vacuum. She will bark at it and try to bite the vacuum cleaner bag. One day I accidentally vacuumed up one of her squeaky toys.. She really let out a squeal when I did that. I had never heard her make that sound before. She just stood there and watch my ever move, as I disassembled the head of the vacuum, to retrieve her squeaky toy. After I untangled the toy, I gave it a toss, at which point she caught it and ran to hide it from me.
Many times in the evenings, she will try to get us to get her a new bone to chew on. She will act like she wants us to let her out the back door to do her... well... you know... duty.
But that is not where she ends up.. she will head towards the back sun room and when in the kitchen ,make a sharp left towards the utility room where we keep her food and treats. We will let her have one, if she hasn't already had one that day. But sometimes she thinks she would like more than one. So we tell her.. no bones Bella, no bones. She will settle down for awhile, and then a little later she will act like she needs to go out.. if we pretend we don't hear her, she will snap her teeth at us. We have gotten real good at determining her need to go outside and her need for a bone.
She's a lot of company and gives us much pleasure. Only I think Dad wishes she wouldn't try and get him up at night, to go out and investigate the backyard, so much. ha. She has us trained well... Ahhh.. to have a dogs life!

The High Priestess of Grandmotherhood!

One of the major joys in life is having grandchildren. I think that is why I had kids, just so I could be a grandmother.
I love my kids.. with my whole heart, but those grandkids... well.. lets just be honest.. we finally get to do, what we wanted, most, do with our kids.. just love them , play with them, hold them so close we could smell the fresh baked cookies on their breath, and let them know.. they are safe in your arms, in your heart, under our care and in our home. Let them know.. your world would be so empty with out their trusting little faces, looking at you like you know the absolute answer to every question in the universe.. at least theirs.
I love that absolutely beautiful innocent smile of my granddaughter that says, "OH you came to see ME!"
We know our lives are finally complete when we can hold them on our laps, or have them sit while we read them books, take them to MickyD's and eat some of their french fries they are willing to share with you.
I have a brother who is 17 years older than myself.. he started a tradition of having , "DATE Day"; with each of his grandkids, as well as his adult children. He is a very busy man and keeps quite active, but family has to have some time too and he uses that as his time with them. I loved that Idea and could see how that is a good way to reap the benefits of not losing that opportunity in life that you only get once. This is to get to know your grandkids and let them have time to know you. They are after all, our legacy, they are part of us and we are part of them.
I look forward, each week to have time with my grandson, D'Artanyan. Wow what a name!
Having that opportunity given to me, by our most precious kids, has been a blessing that I have no real words to describe. He is just such a smart kid, and well behaved, at least for me. I really lucked out to have my grandson with parents that have taught him well, and taken the time to be there so he would have that one on one teaching. I am a blessed grandmother for sure, and I know it. They think that he has me fooled... no.. he doesn't have me fooled.. he has my heart. That is why I know that I am the High Priestess of Grandmotherhood.

Love ,Empathy and Leaders

Love starts at home!

Not exactly a new concept, but one that should be remembered by all of us.
I have known people that came from homes that were very loving. I have also known people that have not been so fortunate, mostly due to not knowing how to love.
Sometimes I talk with people who have had terrible problems, and have risen above them and found a way to endure them if they couldn't change them, or change them, usually with seeking education about it.
I marvel at how a mother's love never dies.
Her kids can do some things, that others would like to strangle them for, but she always understands them. And, yes, knows when they are right or wrong. And ,no, she doesn't always think they can do no wrong.. she just understands, they are human and its alright to be human. She understands as humans, they may make mistakes and its not bad to make mistakes, its only bad not to fix the mistakes or at least attempt to make it as good as can be.
They are part of her, she is part of them, and that will never change no matter the miles or the differences.
One of the best things, I think that a mom can do, is to help her children to love. Love has many aspects. One of the aspects of love that is absolutely without question, vital for them to learn is, empathy!
This vital skill, is learned when we teach them to be kind. Teaching them not to hit because it hurts someone else. Teaching them to share, even if its their most loved toy, or the last M&M in the bag. Encouraging them to remember to say thank you and please, showing that they appreciate something someone else has done or said. Helping them to think of others and how they may be able to positively impact that person's life for the better.
When her children are grown and can reach into their hearts, and understand where another person is coming from, and then act with kindness, because of that information, she knows they have learned a measure of empathy that is vital for all human interactions. Temper that with understanding basic human nature, both the good and bad parts, and that person is well on their way to have what it takes be a real leader.

Love

We are all products of our environments, copy of our upbringing, images of our parents, and try to be director of our own lives, in search of , respect, validation, and love.
When we are young and pliable, able to be taught, we can be given help in how to attain life- skills by loving informed parents. If we don't have that, we are starting out with a huge disadvantage in life. People can not teach what they don't know, can not correct what they can't understand and admit, wont take a chance to go against what is established as truth, when it doesn't effect them, enough.
Alas, sometimes life deals us a hard hand, one we are not familiar with, which our parents never envisioned we would have to deal with, or learn how to cope . So we enter into adulthood, hardly able to understand our own selves, but with the responsibilities, of having to live with the consequences of the actions we chose.
I have heard people say,"Life is not fair, so get over it".
With that statement comes the reality that people don't really care about you. They care that you don't inconvenience them. They don't know how to help you with your problem, so you can understand what can or can't be done. They don't even really realise how those words hurt you. You hope for understanding and solutions and you get "hate", disguised as "words of wisdom".
The truth of the matter is, while life isn't fair, to get over it, would take understanding, and something, or some actions taken, to make it right. Otherwise it stays there, for years, and years, eating your soul and stunting your emotional growth. Often, turning inward and manifesting itself in the many sicknesses we have become accustomed to, as strangely, normal.
I have heard it said, " if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger". Oh really? Stronger? How?
The reality is this, we come into our adult lives limping along on dreams, idealism's, and hopes, carrying baggage from our lack of emotionally mature homes, cruel misunderstandings of those we trust, be it leaders, friends or family, and one by one, these ideals are tested . Our rose colored glasses are traded, for sarcasms and anger and how unfair this life is. Sometimes we retreat to the safety of our family and homes, where we silently hope for wisdom, understanding and love. Licking our hurts, and hoping for compassion. Blessed is that person who has a home with wisdom and understanding, who have people that will stand up against what is wrong and say it. Who are not afraid of the backlash of ignorance brought about from lack of understanding and fears of losing personal power.
But, that will come at a price, are they willing to lay down their lives, so others will not have to suffer because of ignorance? Are they willing to stand in the gap and take the heat of angry, misguided ignorance's of those that don't want change, if it means they don't look so good. Are we willing to give up our lives, so those after us can have a better one. The goal being, so they can live in a world, community, church or home where they can feel loved, validated for their good, and gently guided when they lose their way. NO! That isn't going to happen very often.
Instead, what happens is this:
We learn to cope by agreeing with things we know are wrong and powerless to do anything about. We give up, we hide, we shut-up, we die. In so doing we join the ranks of the many who have gone before us. Just one more casualty of a human that couldn't get those, more responsible, to believe that something was wrong, wrong enough that it needed to change.
What has all this got to do with love? Everything.
Love is an outgoing concern for someone else. To love, you will need to own your own wrongs, to to be sorry for the wrong, and to do that, you will have to get educated on what is right, to admit, that your wrong did hurt someone, even if its out of ignorance, which I firmly believe is the cause of most wrongs.
Its not OK to hurt others, put them down, use them as if you have a right, and duty, to emotionally disembowel them. Its not OK to wave your hand in the air and dismiss their feelings as trivial garbage. Its not OK to shrug your shoulders as if you have no further responsibilities to help them. If you are in an office of responsibility over someone, get an education on how to do that job and quit pretending you know when you haven't got a clue. Fakey rulers lack wisdom and vision, which gains them no respect and everyone except them, knows it. Those closest to that person cant tell them, because the cost is too high.. better to just agree with them, unless you have to endure their scorn.
We need love, we know that, we want it, but we are made to feel helpless in thinking we are worthy of it, even when we live a life that is considered, by most.. to be honorable.